Noel

Today has been sightly good, but right now is purely awful. I guess the stresses of everyday life, and the future are really starting to get to me. But the worst part is that nobody understands me, nobody understands the emotional baggage I'm carrying, and frankly, it feels as if only some care.  My mom keeps getting mad at me for every little thing I do, for example, she thought that I was mad because I looked at her. Apparently, I was glaring at her.  ...I don't know what to say or think  Right now, I'm near my lowest low, and far from my highest high. I don't know how to get out of this deep dark pit. Maybe its better if I stay there.  I hate the person I'm slowly becoming, and hate how I'm acting. Back then, I used to be sweet and kind to those around me. But this year, I've been snapping at everybody, and creating burdens for those around me. Originally, I thought it would be helpful to suppress my emotions. But I can't even do that! A simple task c...

 Two blogs in one day? Aren't I on a roll today! But to tone it down a bit, today was quite different from what I expected. It's Thanksgiving, and naturally I expected to feel the same calming feeling that I felt every year.  There wasn't such luck  My cousins came over today, and last time we were able to get along with minor judgement. Tonight, it started good, but went downhill. I'll admit that I haven't been feeling like myself recently, and maybe that contributed to this large mess. But I was judged tonight, and not just by my cousins, but by my uncles and aunts. It was hurtful to say the least, but I tried to stay positive.  Remember how I said I would suppress my emotions...well...I suck at that. On the growth mind set side, I was able to view the world with more positivity than before. And maybe that's what I need. Maybe I need to view things with more positive views.  Also, Happy Thanksgiving! May you all have an amazing holiday!   Until next ...

 Hello to everyone who is currently reading this, I've decided to finally take up the hobby of blogging. Right now is not such a great time for me, honestly, I've been a grinch lately. My mom brought it up to me many times, and I've been ignoring her. Today....I snapped. Not like the kind where it destroys everything and ruins relationships.  It was a silent one  Those are the worst kind in my opinion. So I've decided to do the worst thing I could do, surpass and ignore my emotions, and to be happier for everyone. This also includes putting others before myself always.   Not so great...I know  But its necessary, and wouldn't hurt anyone if I manage it correctly.  Anyhow, unlike last time, I have an amazing boyfriend who is currently on a mission. He's been gone for almost 9 months, only a lot longer to go. Who knows where a year and half will take us. But lets cross our fingers shall we? I can only hope.  Hopefully you all are here to experience t...